juSt anotHer blOg

THE NOT-SO-STRAIGHT TIMES

Expulsion of the Mats and Minahs from Lame Land.

A new decree has been passed out by the Congress to banished the Mats and Minahs from the country. This new decree was met with great cheers and sighs of relieve from the many citizens of Lame Land, who had lobbied passionately for its passing.

Under the new law, all the Mats and Minahs are being shifted from their current homes and resettled into a new housing estate, Ozschwitz. All their valuables and savings will also be confiscated and liquified.

"This liquidating of their assets," explained the Prime Minister,"is to pay for all the damages they have caused during their stay in our beautiful land. Parks have to be rebuilt after they were destroyed from the extremely bad soccer games, and the huge medical bills we had to bear for our citizens who suffered emotional trauma from the bad singing and continuous noise pollutions from late nights till early morning."

When questioned on the parallels between this expulsion and those conducted by the Nazis on the Jews more than fifty years ago, the Prime Minister was quick to disagree.

"Of course its not the same! For one thing, those are Jews and these are Mats and Minahs. And we are not going to kill them, just oust them away from our territory so we would not be bothered by them again.

Plus they are being resettled in Ozschwitz, not Auschwitz. Different locations, different facilities. We do not have huge ovens to burn humans in, just those big enough to cook buns."

Huge celebrations erupted upon the passing of this new law. A passing celebrator who declined to be named is quoted that they are "as happy as the time when Harry Potter vanquished Lord Voldermort."

Another celebrater, Mr. Aji-Namoto said, "I am very happy that these pestilence are vanquished from our glorious land! The wise empress, Miss President has made once again, a prudent decision. I am very happy because if my little Sito ended up like a Mat or a Minah, i will have to conduct hara-kiri! (honourable suicide)"

"Nonsense!" interrupted his neighbour, Mr Al-Abudhabi. "If my Abubhabi converts to Matism, I will conduct honour killing and kill him! No point killing myself when i can create another son even better. Let Abubhabi be an example to the rest!"

Similar celebrations and reveling are conducted throughout the day and will continue for another 7 days.

posted by nuVul @ Wednesday, February 28, 2007