juSt anotHer blOg

lazy days

my problem is i've too much on my mind to put it down anywhere, blog, paper..not that i think too much, usually i discourage such unless one is stuck in a highly mundane activity and desperately need smthg to keep one awake and not brain-dead.

so here's the thing..i find that anyone can talk to me, its a case of whether i'll let them or not..of cos being nice most year round i usually got my ear yakked off by troubled frenz, troubled moms and troubled people..not that its a problem per se, its pretty gd cos am trusted enough to be of counsel and to keep a secret. but the problem is..

what abt me?

like i've said, i've a 100 megahertz mind running on a 10 megahertz mouth/hands/any other form of communications.so its highly likely that if i approached you with a problem, its just the tip of an iceberg. not that i've ever let anyone go down that far of course.

i wish there's another of me who can really comprehend what i really try to say, and what's really going on in the unexplored terrain of my emotions. someone who i can talk to without having to say anything.

i came across smthg ten minutes ago. which left me in mixed feelings. no, mixed is not the word. inscrutible, or is it unscrutible? one of that. its a thing that brings back so many things. whats been said, what people's said, bits and pieces of what i've felt, all floating randomly..with me floating with them. among them. a thing which confuses me greatly, saying no, and i dont know at every turn.

for someone turning 20 in four mths time, why is it that i cant fig this out? then again, who's to say we really know whats gd for us? choose between what we really want and whats gd for us? certainly not me.

i should stop this. looking for an excuse, seeing it as an excuse. its really inexcusable.

on a much brighter note, my eye is much better, well at least its not as painful. and a really nice meeting with my darling girls tmr too. cant wait. dinner at swensen's with colleague on tue. getting paid for tuition on wed. hopefully watching battle royale movie at jar's with weewee on sat. and pay on sunday! looks like a gd week eh? gd way to start the new year at least.

you know, i think ms lam was in a doozy when she scribbled that i've a natural ability for writing and expressing on my exam paper last year.

anyhow, have a gd year ahead ppl!

posted by nuVul @ Sunday, January 01, 2006