woke up in a funky mood. such low dip in endorphin and serotonin that i couldnt care less that the time was 7.40 am and i'm still staring at my pillow. at least i was not late for class but did tripped on the stairs on the way. thought to self, this aint gonna be a good day.
how true.
a teacher blatantly insulted our, MY, mathematical skills. at the same time shake and jumble up a solid foundation built up by someone whose skills i trust more. it's extremely frustrating to hear "no thats not the answer" when your calculations are correct no matter which numbers she threw at you. i was ready to shove the i/v spike up her nose at every condescending "no". doesnt help that it's making me feel stupid. at the end of the day, she realised that the question was incorrect. thanks a lot.
driving! a test for the self-preserving reflexes. ever heard of fight or flight? in my case it was flight. which equals to taking both my legs off the clutch and accelerator. which cause the car to violently stall. in the middle of the road junction. at green light. when i was executing a turn. (cue: a very long lecture frm the instructor on why i should NEVER do that again and the rationale against repeating said act) so the lesson continued. i still have no idea when is the so-called biting point, how much is just enough pressure on the accelerator when starting off. this was when he pointed out the accelerator meter and how i cant drive above 1.5/2km/hr yet. which meant i spent my time watching the accelerator instead. (cue: covering of the accelerator meter and a long lecture on how i should listen to the engine instead of staring at the meter because it'd mean immediate failure as i dont have an extra eye to watch the road now.) and we continued on again and somewhere along the way we had an argument abt the depth of clutch that i'm pressing which of course makde me lost my concentration and cause us to once again stopped violently. (cue: another long lecture that apparently i'm feeling nervous and scared and why i should cease. also out came a walking stick to help me gauge how much i should release/press on the stupid pedal.) hey at least i'm really good at turning on the engine now. so we end with him confirming my test date (230808, 1145hr) and saying i can definitely pass and me countering his certainty of such statement after an hour of driving debacle (cue: last long lecture on there's no point of him lying to me, not earning him extra money and smthg abt not wanting to cont letting the gahmen take our money).
it was an exercise not for the faint hearted.
this is a pretty long post. but one more lesson learnt today. by having 1 grp member absent, we managed to complete half of a project. by alienating both of them, we actually got an assignment piece out worthy of a teacher's praise and singleton. so..should this continue?
still feeling pretty down. and normally, as you'd know, i think this is stupid and a waste of time, but today, i think i'll give in to my thursday blues and just wallow for a bit.
a new favourite frm my chemical romance.
Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know
That if you say
Goodbye today
I'd ask you to be true
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
-Cancer, MCR-
posted by nuVul @ Thursday, May 08, 2008
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