The Fernando Conspiracy Theory.
Renowned soccer expert, Natasha Fernando, 20, has declared that the semi-finals match-up between France and Portugal as unfair and cheating.
"The French won because they scattered snails all over the field to hamper the Portugese players from running smoothly. It doesnt matter if the Frenchies stepped on any because they're going to eat the snails anyway."
Miss Fernando has also accussed the presence of the snails on the field as aiding Zidenine Zidane in his scoring the accurate penalty against Portugal during the match.
"They're the ones who 'kicked' the ball! All the snails were lined up behind the ball and they contracted their pointy end, feelers I think, and when 'twing!' and the ball flew towards the net. Zidane only pretend to kick the ball so as to not give away their secret.
Also there are miniature snails on the ball which aids in directing the ball's direction. You know, if the ball is not going where its suppose to, they'll all scream lean! and rush to the other side of the ball"
Viewers are urged to observe the ball closely during the final match up between Italy and France as Miss Fernando is adament that the French will pull the same trick again.
Her theory is met by skeptics and amusement by the Editor of the newpapers, as the Editor cited her theory as 'absured' and 'thought off because her favourite team Portugal were kicked out of the finals'.
Miss Fernando will of course be supporting Italy because of this, while many citizens of Lame Land will be supporting France because of Italy not allowing their highly supported team, Germany into the finals.
The finals of this Fifa World Cup 2006 will be played this coming Sunday at 3 am, Singapore time.
posted by nuVul @ Saturday, July 08, 2006
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